You think, the whole world will collapse if you can’t finish this, right here.
The way you started.
Simple, knowing nothing but the stretch of your own limbs.
You pick things up just put them down again.
The worn out starter on your dad’s truck is
humming somewhere over the skyline of Boston.
Make yourself into something to remember, you whisper into the air at night.
Your bones keep restitching themselves back to the earth without your permission.
You feel like an impostor, at best, when you are forced into dress clothes.
Talk like this, they show you, lips pressed into an arc of beauty you don’t know how to make on your own.
You can make on your own.
The way the ocean keeps spitting salt onto the coast.
Take me for what I am, it says.
Remember me this way – the endless worry that I am.
In California, I am stuck somewhere in a walnut tree with my sister,
barely big enough to wrap my hands around its branches.
There are silk worms on the top of the tree – spinning fast.
I envy their certainty. I wonder if I will ever know what it means to be so certain.
There is more doublespeak in my dreams than dreams.
I want to make myself into a sturdy boat,
but I am a bit shaky down to my feet.
I am held back by the language of my kind.
In Oklahoma, there is a one room school house
where my great grandmother buried her dreams.
I am digging them out from a leaky cellar in Boston.
I am wearing them like a promise.
In my pockets, I keep
my great grandmother’s crochet hook,
my papa’s cigarettes and
an orchid from my ole grandma’s garden.
I will finish this for all of them, just the way it started.
Their story is my ragged wallet,
the Oklahoma windstorm in my chest,
my love for the smell of smoked out flannel.
I am here now because they imagined a life beyond themselves.
I am bringing them with me.
I am daring not to let them down.
–Food for Good Energy: Kale Smoothie–
-fistful romaine lettuce
-three celery stalks
-handful of broccoli
-1/2 cup water
-1 cup almond milk
-2 tbs almond butter
Stick it all into a blender and mix it up!